Author: Amy Lane
Length: Novel (320pgs)
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press (24th February 2012)
Heat Level: Explicit
Heart Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥5Hearts
Blurb: Chase Summers: Golden boy. Beautiful girlfriend, good friends, and a promising future.
Nobody knows the real Chase.
Chase Summers has a razor blade to his wrist and the smell of his lover’s goodbye clinging to his skin. He has a door in his heart so frightening he’d rather die than open it, and the lies he’s used to block it shut are thinning with every forbidden touch. Chase has spent his entire life unraveling, and his decision to set his sexuality free in secret has only torn his mind apart faster.
Chase has one chance for true love and salvation. He may have met Tommy Halloran in the world of gay-for-pay—where the number of lovers doesn’t matter as long as the come-shot’s good—but if he wants the healing that Tommy’s love has to offer, he’ll need the courage to leave the shadows for the sunlight. That may be too much to ask from a man who’s spent his entire life hiding his true self. Chase knows all too well that the only things thriving in a heart’s darkness are the bitter personal demons that love to watch us bleed.
Review: This is a book that you will either love or hate. It has characters that you will love or hate and it has a story-line that you will love or hate. And the one thing I can guarantee (well nearly), is if you hate it at the beginning you will love it by the end.
Chase has been hiding for most of his life. His life has been one long painful lie. he has guilt that he doesn’t even know he feels and he is determined to do the right thing to get his perfect life. Tommy is a porn star. he meets Chase at the studio and during a week away with the rest of the guys the two become close.
I know a lot of people will be put off by the fact that Chase has a girlfriend, but to be honest with you it doesn’t signify as being that important, because the longer you read this book the more you get draw into Chase’s life and the turmoil that he is in… the shear agony of having a father like his, the suicide of his mother when he was only young, the determination to have a perfect life, to keep the promises he made to his girlfriend, even if it kills him, and his love for Tommy. That, he wants more than anything in the world, but his promises hold him back.
Tommy has the patience of a saint but even while it is killing him to see Chase with someone else. He knows that no matter what, if he really needed him, then Chase would be there. When Chase and Tommy are together it is lovely to see. they are so well suited that it breaks your heart to see Chase being pulled in different directions and Tommy suffering as well. When Chase shatters it is a heart-breaking especially as we see him still trying to take care of everything so it doesn’t impact the other people in his life.
Chase’s suicide attempt and mental breakdown was incredibly written and it shows us the depths of despair that people can fall to while trying to have an image that is expected of them. Amy Lane has written a story that is incredible in its despair, its love, its loyalty and its friendships. A story that flicks from the present to the past showing us how Chase is stood in his bathroom with a razor blade and how he has come to this point.
This story I would recommend to everyone… it shows us the heights of love, the depths of despair, love, hope, anger, fear, finding one’s self and getting the love that you want and deserve.